Aside from preparing yourself for the divorce that you will go through, it is also best that you prepare your children as well. You and your partner will not be the only ones getting involved or will be affected by the divorce but it can mostly affect your children.
As a parent, it is your duty to look after your children and prepare them for what is coming. It will not come easy which is why here is some advice that you might find helpful when you prepare your kids for the divorce.
Wait for the Right Time
The perfect time to tell your children about the divorce is when it has already started. You should avoid telling them hints about the divorce if you haven’t filed it yet. Once the schedule of the proceedings is set then that should only be the time you must tell them.
Relationships go through a lot of ups and downs and you do not know that what you are going through is just a little misunderstanding. If the divorce is not yet finalized, it is best to keep your kids out of the loop for the time being.
Your kids will surely have a hard time processing the fact that you and your ex are getting a divorce. Moreover, it would be even more challenging for them if they will as well need to process afterward that you will not push through with the divorce. It can be a roller coaster of emotion for the children which is not good for their well-being.
It Is Best to Practice
Once you are very much certain about the divorce, you must first practice what you should say to your kids before facing them. This is considered the most sensitive part of the process which is why you must put enough effort into it.
You must consider two possible outcomes once you break the news to your kids. The truth about the divorce will either be taken lightly or your kids will react badly about it. You must prepare yourself for whatever scenario will come up after you tell them the news.
A divorce can be traumatizing to children that are involved which is why you must choose the correct words when you tell them that you and your partner are getting a divorce. You can write down what you want to say emphasizing some key points that you think will help or worsen the situation.
Tackle the possibilities with your children such as the co-parenting plan, the living arrangements, and many more. Not only that you must tell them about these things but you must as well listen to what they think and how they feel about it.
Remember, this is not just about you and your ex but this is also about your children. They are affected by the situation more than you are.
Don’t Expect Anything
Every child has their own way of receiving what was said and reacting to it. One child may take the situation lightly and one may not and this is normal. You will as well be surprised if your children seem like they do not care about what you want to do with your life at all.
What you will need to do is to let your children know that you and your ex are still there for them and if they need someone to talk to about the situation or other issues they can talk to either of you. Keep your doors open as they might still be processing what you have said which is why they haven’t reacted yet.
Let the words sink in and if you think that they are okay with your decision then you are lucky. However, if you see that they are bothered by what you said, remind them constantly that your doors are open if they need to talk about it.
Additionally, children can also strongly react to divorce. They can be rude and will possibly become rebellious. Divorce is changing their lives too which is why they have all the right to react the way they want to. Just keep an open mind and reassure them always.
Reassure Them That They Are Not the Reason for the Divorce
Never forget to tell your children constantly during the divorce process that they are not the reason why you are getting a divorce. Children tend to blame themselves for why their parents are getting a divorce and this is a normal reaction to most children.
To ensure that you are keeping your children’s emotional and mental state-protected, you must always reassure them that they are not the reason behind the divorce. It can be exhausting to do it repetitively but it is worth it especially if it is for the well-being of your children.
Have a Therapist Ready Just in Case
When worst comes to worst, a therapist can help your child prepare or cope up with the divorce. These professionals are well-trained to handle these kinds of situations and having a therapist on standby can be a huge help and relief at the same time.
As a parent, you will only want what’s best for your children and if you think that having a therapist is what is best for your child then do not hesitate to contact one. What is important here is that you are prepared in case of the worst-case scenario.
It can be the hardest part of the divorce telling your children about it and seeing them break down with your own eyes. However, you must let them know as soon as the divorce is finalized as this will also give them a sense of belonging, and keeping the situation secret from them will just worsen the situation.